Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
