We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
