If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
