Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Vodka?
Forever.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
