Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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