Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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