She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
