So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
