4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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