Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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