okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
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One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
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I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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