Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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