"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
