Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
