Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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