Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
