what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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