I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
