I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
