I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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