I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
