Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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