Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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