yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
