I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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