Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
