somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.