ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize