The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.