So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
