Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.

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(917): I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home. http://tfl.nu/cetg

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(636): View more from Missouri

So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.

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(636): So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man. http://tfl.nu/8qmy

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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.

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(217): I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage. http://tfl.nu/wgul

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(203): View more from Connecticut

is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??

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(203): is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore?? http://tfl.nu/voom

Replies (42) Good night (1005) Bad night (10086) Order T-Shirt
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(713): View more from Texas

i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.

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(713): i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration. http://tfl.nu/akwa

Replies (20) Good night (3354) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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(515): View more from Iowa

Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.

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(515): Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack. http://tfl.nu/7j66

Replies (2) Good night (1657) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.

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(817): Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer. http://tfl.nu/3l5u

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(817): View more from Texas

It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.

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(817): It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart. http://tfl.nu/sgc5

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(518): View more from New York

At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out

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(518): At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out http://tfl.nu/bjrp

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(217): View more from Illinois

this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members

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(217): this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members http://tfl.nu/t6b5

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(256): View more from Alabama

I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.

(1-256): View more from Alabama

I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them

(256): View more from Alabama

FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT

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(256): I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship. (1-256): I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them (256): FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT http://tfl.nu/i1rw

Replies (6) Good night (1430) Bad night (796)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.

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(843): Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance. http://tfl.nu/j1w6

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(404): View more from Georgia

Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Be safe. And I hate you.

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(404): Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND! (1-404): Be safe. And I hate you. http://tfl.nu/32xo

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?

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(814): If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right? http://tfl.nu/wp41

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(574): View more from Indiana

I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.

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(574): I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it. http://tfl.nu/5b4k

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