Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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