Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
