Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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