but the lizard people decide everything anyway
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
