my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
