real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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