My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
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There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
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Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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