I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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