Cold hands, warm shart.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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