So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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