My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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