I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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