Having a random hookup so left but love u
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
