wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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