Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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