I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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