I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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