i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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