and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
