even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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