we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
