Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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