glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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