margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
