Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
