420 ftw
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
