Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
