think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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