"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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