Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I am naked and annoyed.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
