guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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