why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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