Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
