you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
